Yogi in a Corporate World #2

With this journal, I feel like I’m peaking through a portal into the future! Typing my way into another dimension where the rest of my life awaits me. Using these words to transport me to another place and time, somewhere that’s not so confining… somewhere where my gifts are best spent. The power of my projection increases every day. Manifestations popping up everywhere, tempting me with my fate… Reminding me of the fact that there IS some divine order behind all of this. I have complete and utter faith in the power of my conviction. The sheer clarity with which I see my future is a force to be reckoned with. And to be honest, it’s also a little scary.

me

My morning commute.

In case I haven’t been so clear, I currently work a full time corporate job doing marketing and advertising for my father’s insurance brokerage… 8-5, Monday through Friday. There’s a lot of excel spreadsheets in my world, and data entry happens frequently. Sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s mindless, sometimes it’s downright stressfull! It’s not something I want to be doing for the rest of my life, but it’s creating stability and structure. It’s an opportunity to grow… it’s a means to an end. It’s also a big test of my patience! And with patience in mind, I plan on making a transition to being an Ayurvedic practitioner and yoga teacher in the coming years while I support myself with this job. …Wow, there really is something that solidifies once you get an inspiration out in the open. The minute you declare something, it seems to become more real. There, I said it!

The scary part is well… I see myself contributing in a big way. And for this particular vision, that involves getting close to others and having any amount of authority over their wellbeing! There’s a small part of me that would just enjoy curling up in the corner with a spliff for the rest of my life. Comfortable and cozy, no threats, no challenges… Just a small part though. The rest of me wants something more… and I I’ve found it!

My essence is deeply spiritual. I’ve always been in search of the answers to life’s deeper questions as well as a solution to all of my worldly problems. And, drumroll please… I’m bipolar. There, I said that. There’s a part of me that is in denial of this, but another part that has fully confronted it. I see its symptoms woven into the fabric of my life, every day I am reminded that it’s just a little different for me. I found Ayurveda in a desperate search for a natural answer to balancing myself. Food as medicine… Full attunement to the natural order of things. A complete system for realizing your full potential! The answers are here… right under our noses! All it takes is some genuine interest.  Ayurveda uses superior health and wellness as a conduit for spiritual enlightenment – what a concept! It’s everything I’ve bechakraen searching for. And it’s intimately tied to yoga… what do you know?! =)

When I found and combined yoga and Ayurveda, I truly felt I had found something. Ayurveda, an age old ‘science of life’, and yoga, a branched off system of movement that works with the mind, the body and the spirit. Together, an interwoven answer to the process of enlightenment and attainment of higher consciousness. I’m in heaven! Now to focus my energies.

I’m a Pisces, born creative and expressive. I’ve always been a bit flighty so to say. My inspirations are very real, but sometimes I’m too quick to jump – leaping fully into something without having already created a foundation to land on. Needless to say I’m trying to go about it a bit wiser this time. As a creative, I also make jewelry, play the guitar and sing. I’m compassionate and caring, and I want to give back!. And now this cosmic traveler has found herself within the confines of a corporate job to get by with visions of a future that’s not quite here yet. I patiently manifest my dreams…

BLINK….

I settle into another day at my desk. The clock reads 8:03am… I can’t help but look. And the worst part is I also can’t help the little counter in my head- quickly ticking out how many hours I have left here. Deep breath. Stretch. Eight & a half more hours. You can do it! As I genuinely try to change my vantage point from resentment to true gratitude and appreciation… telling myself ‘I want to be here’. Because I do, right? The literal confinement is met with a freedom I could never know without the support of a full time job. The process of trying to convince myself goes on, but there’s still this dull background noise… the slow, low hum of the part of me that feels as if sitting at this desk is completely against my nature.

And yet I know that this has happened for a reason. I am here for a reason! And I appreciate that the opportunity is here. It’s a strong test of my willpower and also a testament of my vision. I just know that if I stay put… TRULY giving appreciation for the things that surround me, and work hard every day towards attaining my vision… things will start to take shape. Just a little bit all the time… not losing faith!

Please, feel free to speak up if my story resonates with you, or you’ve had a similar experience. I know I’m not the only one out here going through something like this and we need to support each other! These moments are so fleeting! Bless all of you who took the time to stop by and share one of them with me!

Until next time,

Namaste & Journey On!

Δ Selena

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